Mooning Angels vs. Churford Orcs

It was another sunny day when the Mooning Angels faced off against the Churford Orcs at the Churford Bowl. A lot of talk was hanging around the game after the Angels game against the Bonecrunchers, and whether they could pull off a second victory against an orc side. The teams walked onto the field to the woops and cries from the crowd, the Angels whipping them up into a frenzy with their trademark mooning.

            With a toss of a coin it looks like Churford are kicking to the Angels and the two teams face off down the centre line. As the ref checks his sundial and raises his whistle, the Orcs make a dash forward, catching the Angels unawares moments before the whistle blows. The ball lands in the Angels half and Jerri Ice scoops it up, pacing across the pitch and handing it to Drew ‘Easy’ Breezy who grabs at thin air, and lets the ball fall to the ground. As the lines keep struggling Solax the Smasher lives up to his name, landing a blow on Reggina Fright and sending her to the turf!

            Breezy manages to grab the ball from the pitch and starts dashing towards the lines as Blaze Bashup knocks out Ug Holdik who is dragged from the pitch by the team snotlings. A savage blow from Joan Hellway put’s Churford Goblin Trickie Mikki  face first into the dirt bringing the snotlings scurrying back on. As the scrum continues Jerri Ice makes a break down the wing, catching a throw from Drew Breezy and scoring the first touchdown of the game.

            Looking cheated, the Orcs line up again, a look of determination about them that they don’t want that happening again. The speed of the Angels making it difficult for them to chase down. The ball is kicked off and the lines smash together in a crescendo of buckling armour and shouts of aggression. Gazgul Chukka picks up the ball and runs forward, fumbling it and dropping it back to the ground. The Angels continue trying to push forward to no avail, the wall of green muscle keeping them firmly in place as Gazgul picks up the ball and throws it to Trickie Mikki in an incredible display of orc dexterity! Trickie, sporting a black eye, catches the ball, the second completion of the game! The ref’s whistle blows and Skar Face is pulled off the pitch for a foul on Fright.

            As Mikki charges towards the Angels endzone, Grim Killey makes a last ditch effort to stop the swift moving greenskin! She dives at Mikki who dodges out of the way, leaving Killey sprawling on the floor and giving him a clear run to the endzone. Touchdown to the Churford Orcs!

            With the second touchdown comes the half-time whistle, and the teams retire from the pitch for some orange segments.

            The second half starts as every game should, with Umpa Stumpa stunning Blaze Bash-up. Grish Gut Gutter picks up the ball and runs forward, handing the ball to Trickie Mikki who is scooped up by Churford Troll Big Ugg Lee Bugga and thrown with surprising precision. The crowd boo, wanting to see the goblin eaten rather than thrown, only to go wild when he lands with a roll and runs forward, dodges and dives into the endzone for one of the fastest touchdowns of the season so far! Two Touchdowns to one to the Churford Orcs.

            The teams form up again, slamming together as the whistle blows. The Orcs determined to hold onto their lead, the Angels determined to reclaim their lead. The whistle blows and the scrum begins with Gut Gutter stunning Torrie Bolt and leaving her slumped on the floor. Breezy scoops up the ball and runs forward, trying to find space while staying clear of the Orc Line. The scrum line moves back and forth as neither team can get the advantage. Orc blitzer Grut Kars slams Hellway to the floor with a nasty knuckleduster to the head.

            Fright stuns Gut Gutter with a cheeky palm to the nose as Breezy sees the opening she’s been waiting for. As a gap opens she throws the ball to Bolt who is just getting back to her feet. As if using a sixth sense, Bolt catches the ball and sets off down the pitch, leaping over the line and slamming the ball to the floor! Touchdown Angels!

            With the scores now even the teams form up for what has to be the last few minutes of the game.  The ball is kicked from the Angels, landing in the grubby palms of Mikki. Without any word Bugga swipes Mikki up into his palm and throws him down the pitch towards the Angels line. Mikki lands heavily, but picks himself up in a split second and takes off down the pitch faster than his legs should be able to carry him! The Angels seem to have been caught completely off guard again and no one is there to stop him, letting Mikki score the third touchdown for the Orcs, and his third of the game!

            With only seconds remaining on the clock, the whistle for the remaining time goes, the lines crash forward, Mikki manages to catch Ice unawares, charging into her and taking her to the ground. Breezy throws the ball to Bolt who catches, and the final whistle goes and the game is over.

            One of the hardest fought games of the season, one of the highest scoring, but one of the lowest casualty rates. It seems some teams do play for the sport!

Brogar Bone Crunchers Vs. Mooning Angels

It’s another sunny day as one of this season’s new teams, the high elf, all female Mooning Angels face off against the formidable might of the Brogar Bone Crunchers. A lot of people have suggested that they will suffer greatly in the mostly male dominated sport, but the scantily clad nymphs are confident they won’t be violently crippled in every match. With fourteen thousand Bloodbowl fans in the stands, it’s a match a lot of people want to see!

Both teams form up and the Bone Crunchers kick off to the Angels. The general crump of the teams slamming into each other is met with cheers from the crowd as both teams struggle to make any gains. As the Angels manage to create some space down the sideline a sneaky attack from Rek sends Torrie Bolt crashing to the ground.

Angels Captain Drew ‘Easy’ Breezy heads towards the sideline and throws the ball to Jerri Ice who fumbles it, leaving it a quick snatch from Snicket’s grasping green hands. Storming back across the pitch Snicket loses his footing and crumples to the floor, fumbling the ball again. Bone Cruncher’s Troll Uhmar lands a horrific blow on Grim Killey, sending her sprawling as the stretcher bearers dash onto the pitch to pick up her immobile body. Ice dashes towards Snicket’s prone form, scooping up the ball and running to the goal line and scoring the first touchdown of the game. As the elven ladies bend at the waist with their trademark mooning celebration, it’s clear why they were recruited into the Victory Doughnut Cup.

The teams form up for a second time, this time with the Angels one player down as Killey is treated by their apocathery, who strangely doesn’t show up on their team roster. As the ball lands on the grass Bone Crunchers thrower Eruuk picks up the ball and makes his way towards the lines. Both sides struggle to make an opening in the opposing line, only Reggina Fright making a small space, stunning Vralg as he tumbled to the ground.

Orc thrower Eruuk paces back and forth, eyes searching for an opening or a break-away greenskin heading for the end-zone.  A roar from the Bone Crunchers troll Uhmar slams Blaze Bash-up, knocking her out cold with a scaly fist. Bolt retaliates with a bone-crunching block on Snicket, sending the goblin onto the pitch, then onto a stretcher. A pass from Eruuk to Vrot and the orc blitzer moves faster than he ever has before, running to the end zone with all the grace and speed of an Angel.  He leaps towards the goal-line, landing a split second after the half-time whistle has blown in a clatter of armour plates.

As the players walk from the pitch Vrot is still shouting and bawling at the referee, and seems to be gesturing about ripping his head off and shoving it somewhere waist height. I’m sure the coach will be having serious words with the referee after that one.

As half-time comes to an end, the Bone Crunchers team have managed to pacify Vrot enough to get him back to the half way line and into formation. The Angels kick the ball high and it lands a few feet from Rek, who picks it up and starts making a run for it as the Bone Crunchers charge forwards. Uhmar knocks Hatetron Mean onto her back with a wicked palm to the face.

With the frustrations of the first half still fresh in the greenskins mind, Rugor sticks the boot in on Mean, leaving her burbling on the pitch. Ice lands a bone-jarring block on Vrot, who is too busy scowling and gesturing at the ref to notice her charging in.

A block from Arwin Blodgers send’s Rek crashing to the ground, grabbing the ball from his outstretched hand, only to have him get back to his feet almost immediately. Uhmar continues his rampage on the pitch, stunning Mean as she climbs back to her feet. Blodgers charges Rek, blitzing him into the crowd and dashing up the pitch, leaving the poor goblin to be brutally beaten by the spectators. In the melee in the centre of the pitch the ball is lost and Erorag lands a stunning blow on Killingfield.

With his misfortune from the first half still hanging around his neck like an albatross, Vrot dodges around the nearby Angels, scooping up the ball and getting himself clear of their grabbing arms and kicking legs, and throws the longest pass of the season so far. Snarskit leaps mid-run, completing the pass and running to the end-zone to score the Bone Cruncher’s first touchdown of the season, and bringing the score to one all.

With a touchdown in the bag for both teams, they form up again and the whistle blows. The lines crash together, Vrot taking out his anger on Bolt, who collapses to the ground unconscious. Mean is stunned for the fourth time, this time by Bone Cruncher’s substitute Vralg. Returning the favour, Joan Hellway sends Vrot sprawling as Breezy runs towards the centre of the pitch and throws the ball to Ice, who continues running away from the grasping green fingers. With a leap in the air and the ball thrown to the ground, its touchdown number two for the Mooning Angels.

The Angels celebrate in their own particular style, mooning the crowd, who go wild at the sight, leaving the Bone Crunchers to leave the pitch in the foulest of moods, carrying the body of Rek from the sidelines. Vrot, still unhappy with the referee’s whistle blow seems to be stalking him around the pitch, smashing his fists onto his chest. As the crowd leaves the stands, it brings an end to the second match of the season.